Here I am

Here I am
Back stuffed
Husband mad
Table broken
Door locked
Sunday blues ahead
There she is
At the airport
Off to Africa
Saving the world
Not a worry or a care
Who's got it better?
Me, married, tied down, job, ordinary arguments and dishes to do
She, single, unfettered, flying off to exotic lands to change the world

Whose life is more significant? I want to say hers is because I'm in self pity mode. Yet underneath my self pity I have to acknowledge that neither is more than the other.
Should we all be married? No. Should we all drop everything and leave it behind for the poor and the naked?
Yes. But there are those who are poor in love and naked in their pain right here who need someone too. And they are often right in the midst of our ordinary lives, among the dishes and appointments, the arguments and Sunday night blues.
The excitement of leaving it all behind, the adventure and adrenaline rush of flying off is so tempting for me. And seems the better, more exciting option.
And yet, I haven't been called to be Jesus' hands and feet just when it is fun. I have to do it also when I am sick of it all and craving what's on the other side of the fence. And I must see the lie for what it is; a deception that says everything BUT what I have right now is better and more fulfilling because I'm here at this moment of my life for a reason.

We cannot all possibly be the young, single, carefree girl flying to Africa to salve and heal and save the needy. But we must all be our true Selves in Him, in what we are living already; whether it be motherhood or singleness or marriage or career or divorce or none of the above. If this right now doesn't matter, then nothing matters. But if this right here, this ordinary life can be caught aflame, then it all matters.
All is grace.

Am I a fool? Does it all matter? Or just the exciting lives others seem to lead?

Tell me what you think - and why we shouldn't fall for the "Everything else is better than what you have" lie.

The seeming insanity of faith

If nothing else he has the integrity to tell us up front he's going to do whatever he wants because he is God. I will tell of the most senseless thing he ever did: He showed up here. Not to do away with evil, but to deliver himself over to evil. Instead of showing up to rescue the victims and give the victimizers a sound whacking, he became a victim himself and let them and the plagues and sicknesses and heartaches all go on as if he'd never showed up at all. That is God, take him or leave him.

To take him or leave him is the essence of faith.

He says to us as he is being executed for being God, staring straight in the face of all our incoherence, dissolution and corruption, "Trust me, I know what I'm doing." Either he does or He doesn’t. And either we do or don't buy the resurrection, his promise that there is a vast and holy integrity to it all and we too will someday be redeemed from all this suffering.

For my money, in the end, even if the gospel is all a fairy tale hope at best or a damned lie at worst, it is still more attractive than the hopeless and ghastly promises the world hands me.

I admit I’m buying it